The holidays are upon us! While our end-of-year festivities will likely still feel a bit different from holidays of years past, from all of us here at Reimagine Gender, we hope you and your loved ones remain safe, healthy, and embraced by love and community this holiday season.
As we head into this time of year, gift-giving is naturally on the minds of many. This simple act, regardless of price or the measure of its symbolic value, is one way we show our gratitude and love for one another. We also want to approach gift-giving guided by a simple, but important idea: something is only a gift if the recipient experiences it that way. In other words, it's not about the gift we want to give, but the gift our loved ones want to receive, and the value that gift has with them.
Gift-giving also brings up a lot of thoughts and beliefs about gender — often unconsciously. It’s a time when we see certain narratives and expectations around gender crop up. At the same time, holidays and gift-giving can also give us an opportunity to celebrate gender expression and authenticity.
Examples of this reinforcement are commonplace in many households and workplaces during this time of year. For example, fathers may typically receive gifts related to grilling, sports, or the ever classic “dad socks.” Mothers, on the other hand, may receive something deemed more “sentimental” such as a framed photo, or perhaps gifts for the home like new pots/pans for cooking. A friend of Reimagine Gender recently told us that at work, he received a bottle of whiskey as a gift — despite the fact that he doesn’t drink — while women received gift certificates for manicures. In all of these instances, gendered marketing and assumptions have impacted what gifts we deem appropriate for people based on their gender identity (rather than their actual interests!), which can reinforce harmful, reductive gender roles.
This year, Reimagine Gender can help you get outside of a limited, gendered approach to gift-giving. Together we’ll explore:
- Gendered marketing and gift-giving, and how and when this can be harmful
- Examples of gift-giving and products that help us show appreciation while promoting an expansive sense of gender
Gendered Marketing + Gift-Giving
Gendered marketing is ubiquitous and not just limited to the holiday season. From Mother’s Day to Halloween and birthday parties, gendered marketing influences what we see as “appropriate” ways of celebrating and gift-giving based on outdated and potentially harmful gender roles. Gendered marketing becomes especially prevalent during the holiday seasons when gift-giving is top of mind, with representations of highly gendered roles, products and activities portrayed across advertisements and gift guides.
What these advertisements miss is the reality of an evolving understanding of gender, especially among younger demographics. 62% of Millennials agree that gender is a spectrum versus a binary, meaning gendered marketing (and the companies that produce them) would be wise to evolve as well! Gift-giving can inadvertently reinforce gender roles when we lean more heavily on what we assume a person will like based on their gender, rather than finding out or gifting based on what that person is authentically interested in.
For example, a young daughter may receive a makeup brush set, and a son may receive tickets to a sporting event--both of which may not be the gifts they are interested in, and can reinforce gender stereotypes. These gifts, despite the love and intentionality they may have been shared with, reflect back to both the daughter and son a set of gendered expectations (i.e. girls should be concerned about their appearance, while boys should participate in “masculine” activities like sports) based on their gender identity and gender expression which may still be evolving. As a solution, by taking the time to speak with these family members or their caregiver(s) about what they are actually interested in, you can ensure any gifts they receive are truly something that would bring them joy.
That doesn’t mean you should never give the gift of makeup or tickets to a sporting event! If you have a youth in your life who loves putting on makeup, then a new eyeshadow palette would be a perfect present — and can also be affirming for that person’s own sense of gender and identity. The important thing here is to avoid assuming someone is into makeup just because of their gender, and instead let that person’s interests drive your gift-giving.
In an office setting, try to avoid gifting women employees one thing and men another. This practice is exclusive to gender-expansive folks, reinforces a binary notion of gender, and makes gendered assumptions about the interests of your team members. Instead, you could give employees three gift options to choose from, go for an individualized approach, or provide a gift card so team members can select something that’s meaningful to them.
Affirming Gift-Giving
With a better understanding of gendered marketing and how it may influence the gifts we share with loved ones, we can get to the fun part: exploring gift-giving that is both conscious and inspires loved ones to step more into their true selves!
Gift-giving rooted in gendered stereotypes can often feel restrictive, but when we give ourselves the permission to reimagine gift-giving to support others in being the most authentic version of themself, that’s where the best gift-giving happens. Thankfully, gift-giving with intention is easier than you’d think.
Remember: the best gifts are those based on what our loved ones have shared about themself or expressed wanting to have or do. Perhaps you know someone who loves a pair of shoes they feel are “too loud” and they don’t feel “brave enough” to purchase. Maybe there’s someone in your life who has their heart set on an experience or activity like a dance class but never took the leap--these are examples of understanding the desires of our loved ones, and choosing a gift that affirms them and conveys: I see you and appreciate you.
Some other fun options include:
- Children’s books whose characters have no gender (i.e. animals, or fun otherworldly creatures) or help young children see their own potential to live, explore, and play outside of gendered expectation
- Clothing and items from more gender inclusive brands and platforms like Afterpay’s GenderFree Shop, the Phluid Project, Telfar and countless others
- Skincare from brands with an expansive understanding of gender and the belief that skincare is for everybody! Some of our favorites include Ursa Major, Topicals, and The Inkey List
- Fragrances that inspire users to find what scent suits them best, regardless of gender identity, including Henry Rose, Le Labo, and Jo Malone.
- Gift certificates to restaurants, venues and shops you know someone loves is an easy way to show someone you see them, understand them, and most of all appreciate them!
We understand the holidays can feel like a lot of pressure! Gift-giving is an expression of care and one small way to show gratitude for the loved ones in our lives, and we all want to “get it right”. This holiday season, by taking some extra time to understand how gender can inform and influence what gifts we choose for one another, your gift-giving can become even more thoughtful, informed, and truly capture the appreciation you have for loved ones, colleagues and friends. The power of a gift is in the result of being seen, understood, and appreciated by another through an item or experience that speaks to your interests, personality and dreams!